


I love(d) you.

by Marssparks



Series: O' Valley Of fanfics [1]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:20:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22046254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marssparks/pseuds/Marssparks
Summary: Post S1E6 (rare species).Jaskier had loved Geralt. He still did, but he would never admit that. The wound was still fresh.In which, the Geralt/Jaskier 'break up' scene goes way worse.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: O' Valley Of fanfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1591981
Comments: 50
Kudos: 792





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't read the books, nor played the games, so my knowledge is limited to the TV series, but I've rewatched the handful of episodes we have so far multiple times to get character accuracy. One thing I hate the most is OOC writing, so I'm going to try my best to make it as character accurate. 
> 
> The first chapter is more a introduction, so I apologise that it's short. 
> 
> Enjoy!

He had snapped, Jaskier could tell. He told himself he wouldn't take it personally, but here he was, playing his lute and thinking of him with every strum of the strings. He had yelled back at Geralt like a moron, fuck, why did he have to do that?

It had hurt. It still hurt. He wanted to take it back, just walk away from Geralt when he had blamed all the shit that had happened on him. But Jaskier was always one to talk back, or well, in this case, he yelled.

He stopped playing the lute a while ago, just thinking about it. The scene replaying in head again and again. His hand clenching around the wood of his precious instrument tight and heavy.

"You just gon' stand there, or are ya' gonna play that thing?" One of the drunks asked, pointing to the lute.

"ah, right, yes.." He paused. He wasn't sure if he played, he could keep himself from crying. He had fucked up three weeks ago, and he couldn't play. His couldn't bring himself to. He needed a pickmeup if he was going sing.

As one of the tavern girls passed with a tray of beer and ale, he grabbed a beer suddenly (he pretended to not hear her complain) and chugged it furiously. It wasn't going to get him drunk that easily, but it was better being tipsy than completely sober.

Taking a minute, he eventually gets the song started, singing. It wasn't one of his best songs. But it wasn't about the white wolf, and he really didn't want to sing about him right now.

* * *

Two weeks ago

"Damn it, Jaskier!" Geralt interuppts the bard, "why is it whenever I find myself in a pile of shit these days, it's you shovelling it!" He approaches Jaskier, looking up at the man standing on the rock.

"well..that isn't fair—"

"the child surprise! The Djinn! All of It!"

Jaskier was taken back, he had never seen Geralt furious like this. But Geralt wasn't done.

"if life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!"

Jaskier stood as Geralt turned his back and walked a little ways away. Geralt had a point. He had a part in all of those. But he could not control what destiny had chosen to happen. The only reason Geralt was so angry was because Yennefer had left him.

But he wouldn't make excuses, he wasn't stupid. Right now, Geralt was looking for someone to pin this on. And it would be him, because he was always at the scene.

"I.." half of Jaskier was telling him to walk away. But he persistently stayed. "that wasn't fair, witcher"

Geralt stayed quiet, Jaskier half expected him to go on another rant. 

"if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have met her." he huffed. "that woman, the one you love so much..and its not my fault you haven't picked up the responsibility destiny had called upon you. You called the law of surprise by your own will."

There was no sign Geralt was listening, but his face. His face had morphed into something other than stoic for once. His eyes said it all. He was hearing Jaskier.

"I don't stay around with you for the adventures, Geralt. They're fun. But they aren't the reason I stay.." If Gerelt really wanted him gone, they wouldn't see each other again. He needed to get it off his chest, if not now, then when?

"I stay because I fucking love you." his eyes tear up, he steps down from the rock and steps towards Geralt. "I love Geralt of Rivia, not sleeping on dirt with a damp fire next to me, not getting threatened by bandits, or any sort of creature."

Geralt clenched his fists. He still doesn't say anything. 

"I was kidding myself, singing those great songs about you, giving you hints, fliriting with you. You couldnt love me back. Because you love her. And that's perfect. You're strong, Handsome. She's powerful, and Beautiful. Im just a bard. How could I compare?" his voice is weak, he stops ranting. "you get your wish. I'm done following you. See you around, Geralt."

He leaves the witcher, making his way to the nearest town.

* * *

He finishes his song on a strong note, his mood all the better. Music was the light in his life. He was already happier than his mood moment ago.

That was, until, someone rushed in exclaiming the white wolf witcher was in town, and coming to this very tavern. Maybe if he stayed quiet, and hide in one of the booths, Geralt wouldn't see him.

"what's the big commotion?" Jaskier askes one of the men sitting at the booth, as he slides into it. "The witcher isn't bad."

"no mutants allowed in here, kid" the man mutters. "he's a monster' they all are"

Oh, wow. That was racist. Jaskier made a face, but didn't say anything. His shoulders tensing as the Tavern door opened, and everyone grew quiet. He watched from the side of his eye as the witcher made his way to sit down.

"hey, can't cha' read, witcher?" one of the patrons said, standing, hand grasping a dagger. "your kind ain't welcome here."

He saw Geralt shrug off his cloak, making himself at home at the empty table. "im not here to fight" 

The man with the dagger, dagger man Jaskier found himself nicknaming, had sudden back up, more and more people started to gather and try to intimidate the witcher. 

Before Geralt could reach for his sword, Jaskier rose from the booth, and strummed his lute. 

"now now, noble men, are you children or adults? This establishment isn't a hay doll to fight over who gets to play with it. How about you all just let the witcher stay for now, and if he, perhaps, starts trouble, you can start trouble with him?" He draws everyones attention, and one of the tavern girls agrees with him, saying something about not wanting to clean up a mess.

The men mumbled amongst themselves, and slowly began to sit down, but they still gave Geralt the meanest glares. 

He refused to look at the white wolf for a moment, but he eventually drew his eyes up to look at him and he saw the man looking at him with his mouth slightly open, eyes squinting as if thinking. 

He stupidly decided to approach him. 

"Jaskier." He starts the conversation. "you didnt need to do that."

"I wanted to. It wasn't for you, uh.. I just like this tavern a lot. And these people are one of the few of many people, who don't throw things at me when I sing. It would have been a shame to see them all dead, y'know." he shrugs. "anyways, I.. I will get out of your hair now."

"wait." Geralt doesn't reach for him, but Jaskier stops anyways.

"yes?" Jaskier raises an eyebrow, taking a seat across Geralt. He had a feeling this was going to be a long conversation, and day.

"we need to talk."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt avoids his feelings, Jaskier gets drunk momenterialy. They meet one of Jaskiers exs, and Geralt slowly begins to realise his love for the bard; and realises he has till the end of this adventure to apologise.

"we need to talk."

Jaskier would be lying if he said his heart didn't skip a beat. He didn't exactly know why he had that reaction.

"uh.... About ?" He makes a hand motion in the air as if to say for Geralt to elaborate.

Geralt is quiet for a long time, he wasn't well with words, and his lack of expression didn't exactly help. He wanted to apologise, he knew he had hurt the bard, and as soon as he was alone and thought things out, carefully, with patience, he knew he regretted what he said. Blinded by rage, and venom, and the sudden loss of Yennefer in his heart had caused him to lash out to the one person who wanted to assure him. He decides he'll apologise later, when he figures out how to, and he hopes that he will soon.

"I have a contract in this town." he nods to himself. "and it seems you know this place better than I do." he looks at the patrons of the tavern, still tense, watching the bard and witcher talk.

"and you wish for me to.. Come along on your adventure?" Jaskier's practically sitting at the edge of his seat.

"it's not much of an adventure. I've just been hired to see what creature is killing the mayors live stock." he watches as Jaskier tags down one of the tavern girls for two tankards full of beer, and a 'scrumptious stomach filler for two.' "but yes, I wish for you to come along." 

"the mayor has live stock all for his own? Figures. Y'know my neighbour when I lived with my parents had his own life stock, complete pig he was. I remember I used to pray for him to suddenly have the plague or somethin'. He was a real asshole.." he nods slowly, the tavern girl returning with the tray of food, and the beer quickly. "any ways, I'll come along. It's quite late right now, we aren't going to start, like, immediately, right?"

Geralt replies with a grunt, and begins to eat from the meal from one side as Jaskier ate the other. The tavern girl comes back, smiling at Jaskier and Geralt strangely, almost awkwardly.

"the beer and the food add up to 17 silver." She pats her coin pouch. "pay up, boys."

Jaskier opens his pouch, and presses seventeen silver coins into her palm.

"send my thanks to the chef." He grins at her, "this is probably the best thing I've eaten since coming into this town."

"yeah, it's one of our specials, especially for couples like you two." she pockets the coins. "I'll tell him you send your gratitude."

"wait- couple?" Jaskier stares into nowhere for a moment, thinking to what could have given her that idea. The meal for two. It must have meant..

Oh. 

Geralt let's a smirk twitch at the corner of his mouth, watching Jaskier wrap his head around his mistake. It was usually these stupid mistakes that makes Geralt askes for the meals at taverns. Jaskier must have noticed his small smirk, and mostly his (fond) amusement at the perdiciment, because he flushed red with embarrassment and began to hide his face with his tankard.

A least an hour passes, and it would be a wrong assumption if one had said that it went by quietly. Jaskier and Geralt had finished the meal and their beers rather quickly, and only stayed so long because of a promised performance from Jaskier to the tavern keep. 

This song was new to Geralt ears. 'her sweet kiss' Jaskier had announced the name before beginning. Once he began singing, a strange heavy feeling grew in his stomach as he watched Jaskier perform. He had missed the bard's chatter, but he never considered having such ache over seeing him sing once more.

This wasn't new. He had this feeling in his stomach for a while since meeting Jaskier. He chose to ignore it. Since their arguement, it had become more unbearably heavy.

Clenching his fists underneath the table, he suddenly realises Jaskier had finished the song, and forgot to even listen to the words of it. He didn't become too distressed over it, he would surely hear it again some time.

"alright! I'm tuckered out, let's head to the Inn across the road" Jaskier approached the table, "I hope you have some silver, because.." he opens his coin pouch and holds it upside down, completely empty. "a room is pretty expensive over there" 

"You.. want to share a room?" Geralt askes, raising an eyebrow. 

"yeah..? It's costs less coin. I'll sleep on the floor, on my bed roll." Jaskier shrugs. 

Geralt grunts once more as an answer as they make their way to the Inn, getting a key for one room. Down the hall, and Jaskier is already taking out his bed roll, eyes half lidded and he seemed exhausted.

They make it into the room, and Geralt puts his cloak down, wherever, and he sees Jaskier laying down already on the floor. He huffs out a small chuckle, and proceeds to remove his armour and boots, leaving him in his under armour as he got comfortable in the bed. 

"y'know, I really regret saying everything I did.." Jaskier mutters sleepily, making Geralt feel awake suddenly. "I..shouldnt have told you I love you..now everything is gon' be' awkward."

Right, of course. Jaskier had a couple extra beers, and that's why his pouch completely empty. The bard was drunk babbling. But it didn't make Geralt dismiss what he said. But he chose not to reply. 

"you were pissed at me, an'..and I felt like you shoulda been'" he mutters. "its too bad you love yennefer.." 

Geralt sits up in the bed when Jaskier finally goes quiet, and presumably to sleep. His feelings to Yennefer were complicated. He loved her, and they would be a great couple, but.. He didn't see himself doing what couples do with her.

He didn't know how he felt about Jaskier, fuck, he wasn't even supposed to feel.

Heavily, Geralt laid back, and slept, letting darkness wash away his thoughts. 

* * *

Two weeks ago,

He watched as Jaskier walked away, Geralt clenched his fists and unclenched them. Alone. Like he deserved to be. Like how he wanted to be.

No, he didn't. He needn't be alone, yet he forces all company away. Geralt yelled out, grabbing a rock and throwing it down the cliff side. His loneliness was just. All he had now was roach. He finds himself already missing yennefer, her bright eyes, her lust for power.

Something nagged on the back of his mind, _Jaskier_. What about him? Geralt doesn't think he's ever seen heart break truly til now. Jaskier's face spoke a million different emotions, and Geralt felt like he snapped his heart in half, crushed it even more, and stumped on it till it was dust. 

Fuck. He already knew the man loved him, but now he just proclaimed it to him. Now it's worse, he hurt his Jaskier. And he's gone for good.

_'people destined to meet will always cross paths'_

He didn't believe in destiny.. But he hopes he will see yennefer again. ~~He wants to, pr~~ ~~ays, he will see his bard once more.~~

* * *

Geralt awoke early, the sun barely rising. He noted how Jaskier was still heavy in sleep. The fool slept like a log. Geralt put on his armour and boots once more, nudging the bard with his foot.

"wake up. We have a lot to do today." He demands.

Jaskier doesn't get up immediately, but he does eventually, groaning and sitting up. Geralt stares at him for a moment, "you look ridiculous" he smirks slightly.

"hm.. Woulda thought all the times we've traveled together you'd be used to the bed hair.." Jaskier takes out his comb, but doesn't comb down his mane just yet. 

Geralt doesn't blink twice when Jaskier suddenly starts stripping, back to him. He stops staring at Jaskier, after a minute or two. He can hear ruffling of clothes and fingers fumbling to button up the shirt. He makes eye contact with Jaskier once the man is fully dressed.

"alright, I'm done" he gives Geralt a smile. "what did you wake us up so early for? you said we'd be doing the job tonight, not in the morning." Jaskier rubs his neck and back, probably sore from the floor.

"we need to go to the market." 

"what for?" Jaskier askes, but they're already walking out of the Inn.

"I have a feeling I know what's killing the live stock." Geralt explains. "a ma-mo. It's weird to find out around this area, though."

"a whoa-what?" Jaskier splutters out. "oh. The markets over here." he makes a gesture to the right.

"a ma-mo. They're female looking creatures that spread disease and kill everything they touch."

Jaskier makes a face. "are they hot?"

"yes. Very."

"have you seen one in person before?" Jaskier questions, peering at Geralt.

"I've bed one, that is how I know they don't kill every _thing."_

 _"_ oh." Jaskier bristles, and smirks, about to make a comment, before Geralt speaks again. 

"I don't die from their touch, but it weakens my physical state significantly. It makes me weak"

Jaskier stares at Geralt for a moment, not saying much for a bit. 

"even then, you're probably still stronger than me." he shrugs. "that's better than nothing. So what do we need from the market to kill this thing?"

"ma-mo's one weakness is their exact opposite, health. There's a flower, the Chrysanthemum, that represents long life, love, and fertility."

"I'm good friends with the local florist, we can ask if he has any chrys.. Whatever" Jaskier grins. "want to know how we met? I was singing a song down the road, I think I was preeeetttty drunk,and walked straight face into him and broke my first lute—" 

Geralt notices how Jaskier babbles on about anything, nothing much on subject. Like he didn't want there to be silence between them. 

" and then he says he'll buy me a new one if we bed together, which I found weird at first but I was like, why not, amiright? I've slept with women, and got nothing, so I may as well do this, and get somethin for once. Now, I told him I was no whore who is owed something in exchange for sex—"

"you shouldn't have to sleep with someone because you want something." Geralt grunts out. "never mind, are we almost at this florists?"

"yep, around this corner." Jaskier turns with Geralt and they stand in front of a stand, full of blooming flowers, and a man setting them up.

"Ulric!" Jaskier greets. "my good fellow, we—"

"do you have a Chrysanthemum?" Geralt interuppts, going straight to the point.

"I'm not open yet.." the man rolls his eyes. "but yes I do. They don't grow around here, so it's going to be costly"

"how much?" Geralt grunts.

"25 gold coin."

"holy crap, for a flower?" Jaskier's eyes widen. "can't you give a friend a discount, a little snippet, y'know, anythin?"

"hm, is this man courting you?" he asks, referring to Geralt.

Something burns inside Geralt, he didn't quite know what. He wraps an arm around Jaskier.

"yes, I am." he lies. 

"full price." the man nods.

"listen, Ulric.." Jaskier tilts his head. "we don't have that sort of money, and I'm sure we can work something out.. I don't think your wife would like to know what we did, and hell, the offer you just made.. Oh and imagine it in song! The entire town could be singing about how you sucked-" 

Geralt watches as the florist freezes,

"so, uh, how about 15 silver?" he stops Jaskier.

"that's great!" He nods furiously.

Geralt takes out 15 silver and hands them over, watching as the man gently ties a bag around the vase, to stop the soil from getting out, and making it easier to transport.

"thanks, Uldick" Jaskier snickers, holding the plant securely.

"well, that was something.." Geralt mutters after walking away from the florist stand.

"really? You're at awe of that situation, but not at your own skills?" Jaskier smirks, raising his eyebrows.

"you've bed with gentlemen, before?" Geralt finds himself asking.

"I bed with all- shit that came out wrong. What I mean is, if a person bares a tit or no, i do not really find myself caring. I love all." Jaskier pauses, "that sounds like a great song.. Sorry, what about you?"

"I could care less about gender." Geralt huffs. "as long as we both get pleasure."

"that's great" Jaskier grins, Geralt glances at him for a second. "I mean, not great for me, great for who you bed with."

Fuck they really needed to talk about what happened, things were getting awkward and the air between then was beginning to get thicker. Geralt worries that soon enough, Jaskier would see fog between them, and give up trying to reach Geralt. 

" what else do we need?"

"santarn leaves" Geralt leaves it at that. 

"and where do we find Santarn leaves?"

"in a well." He looks around. "where does this town draw their water from?"

"at the centre of the town. Follow me. It gets really crowded, even this early." Jaskier guides Geralts hand onto his belt. "hold onto me—" Geralt slips his hand back to himself. "or don't that's fine." 

"I needn't do that. I can spot you from a mile away with your.. Outlandish outfit."

"hey! This is the best fashion this year, especially for bards" Jaskier crosses his arms.

Geralt grunts, and pushes Jaskier forward as if to say start walking. They begin to go to the centre of town, and once they make it there, Geralt sees that Jaskier definitely wasn't joking when he said it's be crowded. He pushes through in front of Jaskier and begins to walk through the narrowed crowd. He pretends he doesn't notice how Jaskier grabs onto his cloak. They make it to the well, and Jaskier peers down into the dark water hole. 

"so, uh, who's going down there?" 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier is stuck in the well, almost drowns, and Geralt tries to comfort him. They have a tiny arguement, and finally talk about their 'break up' while bathing. Geralt finally fights the creature.

"so, uh, who's going down there?" Askes Jaskier, looking back at Geralt.

Geralt didn't answer, just giving Jaskier a long, knowing look. Jaskier Takes a minute, realising exactly what Geralt wanted him to do.

"what- no! I don't even know what these leaves you want look like. You cannot force me to go down there." He exclaims, giving Geralt a irked look.

"you cannot pull me up when I go down. I'm too heavy for you. The leaves are orange with yellow tips. " Geralt rolls his eyes. "but I can pull you up from there. It will be quick, and smooth, are you scared?" He raises an eyebrow.

"scared? Pfft.. Me?" Jaskier rubs the back of his neck, and when Geralt looks away, he sighs. "yes, okay? It's a deep, dark, hole filled with water from good gods know where, with all types of germs."

"you just need to go in there, grab at least 10 leaves, and call for me to pull you up. Simple. Now strip."

Jaskier's eyes widen. "strip? What for?!"

"do you want your 'bards fashion' to get absolutely drenched?"

"Geralt, there are people staring at us as it is, if I go nude and jump into their water supply, it won't be exactly normal." Jaskier makes a gesture to the crowds.

"just do it. I'll deal with anyone who has trouble with this."

Jaskier, humiliated, starts stripping down to his underwear, and kicks off his footwear. Geralt grabs the dismissed rope at the foot of the well, and ties it around Jaskiers waist.

"Geralt, I can surely pull myself up the rope, instead of being tied to it." Jaskier adjusts the rope on himself, making sure it was tight. "plus, this is giving me rope burn."

"you tried to climb up that small hill and couldn't even do that with slipping atleast three times." Geralt recalls with amusement, remembering how the bard fell on his face again and again.

"that was because I was wearing inappropriate footwear."

"stop complaining and jump in before I push you down there." Geralt rubs the bridge of his nose, eyes closing with slight annoyance.

Jaskier huffs, and slowly climbs into the well, before getting close enough to the waist high water that he just jumps down.

"Geralt! There are no leaves here!" he yells up the well, his voice bouncing off the walls.

"they don't float, Jaskier! Hold your breath and grab them."

Jaskier cursed in elder, of course these stupid magic leaves didn't float. He takes a gasp of air in, and dips down into the water he sees the leaves stuck to the bottom of the well, and begins to pick them up one at a time. At five leaves, he returns to the surface of the water and gasps for more air, about to dip back down when he hears a growl. 

"uh.. Geralt!" He yells up.

"what is it this time?" the witcher looks down at the bard, vexxed.

"I just heard a growl.. And the water is rising!" Jaskier panics, the water suddenly up to mid waist.

"the ma-mo must have gotten wind of our plan, I'm going to pull you up—"

The rope snapped in half, and Jaskiers eyes widened, the growling got louder from the hole the water was entering from.

"what now?!" Jaskier says, dismay lingering in his tone and the echo of his voice.

Geralt suddenly leaves, running off, and leaving Jaskier. The bards eyes widen, had Geralt gotten annoyed again, and left him? Did he say something wrong? Nono- the witcher probably went to go get help.

The water began to rise more, and it was at his neck. Jaskier still realised he had only gotten five leaves, and if he was going to be rescued, he could at least do something of good for Geralt. He takes in another gasp of air, and dip Into the water, diving till he saw the leaves at the bottom once more. He grabs another five, ten in total, and swam back to the surface. There he saw Geralt, who was staring at the water, with a heavy glare, that immediately softened when he saw Jaskier again. Had he thought the bard drowned?

"I'm coming down!" Geralt exclaims.

"what for?—" Jaskier tips his chin up, gasping as the water had now reached his chin.

He could see Geralt tying the rope to something, and jumping down, not waiting any minute to undress, just as he begins to fall underwater. The water splashes, and he grabs ahold of Jaskier in the freezing water.

"are you okay?" Geralt askes, pulling him above the water.

The bard splutters and coughs, "no, of course I'm okay, Geralt, it's not like I almost drowned. Get us out of here." he let's the sarcasm drip out of his voice heavily once he's done coughing all the water out of his lungs. 

Geralt frowns heavily, "hold onto me." he says, and proceeds to throw the bard over his shoulder. 

Jaskier yelps, and holds onto him tightly, as Geralt begins to climb out of the well. He almost slips his grip on the witcher, but due to some miracle, he doesn't fall.

Once out of the well, Jaskier falls off the witchers shoulder, and onto the dirt ground, freezing and most likely in hypothermic shock. He feels some warm around him suddenly as a familiar cloak is wrapped around him. 

"you're okay now." Geralt mutters, not saying much else. 

"I thought I was going to die." he mumbles, and Geralt grunts. 

"the Ma-mos intentions are clear. Its aggressive."

"Geralt, my apologies, not really, but I could care less about this. Can we please go inside and get w..warm." his teeth clatter against each other, and Geralt helps him off the ground. 

"did you get the leaves?"

Jaskier pulls them out of the side of his underwear. He sees Geralt grimace for a minute. "10 of em, like you wanted."

Geralt nods, and takes them from the freezing man, and pockets them. He begins to pick up Jaskiers clothes and the flower, and they make their way back to the Inn. 

Once at said Inn, he asks for a warm bath to be drawn for Jaskier, and one of the girls rush off to do so. Fourteen minutes later, and The girl comes back, telling them the bath was ready and warm. Geralt slowly guides Jaskier to the bath, and helps him in. Jaskier sinks down in relief at the attack of warmth on his numb fingers and toes.

"You did well, Jaskier." he grabs some salt, and throws it into the water.

Jaskier doesn't reply for once, just making a content 'hmm', it came out more of a moan of happiness. Geralt rolls up his wet sleeves, and begins to scrub at the bards hair with soaps. He grabs the bucket at the side, and fills it up with water, and dunks it over his friends head; who suddenly grips tighter at the rim off the bath.

"don't be scared. It's okay. Focus on your breath." The white wolf replies to his reaction.

Jaskier breathes in heavily, and suddenly opens his eyes; staring at Geralt. "you're freezing too." He takes the witcher cold hand, and puts his hands around it, giving it colour and warmth.

"I will be fine. I was barely in that water for a minute. You stayed in there for 15 minutes." he growls, "that's long enough to get ill. I can't have you plagued with Illness because of me."

"s' not your fault." Jaskier mumbles. "you couldn't have known that was going to happen"

"I forced you into the well." Geralt grabs a rag, and begins to wash away at Jaskiers body.

"it was for the job, its okay." Jaskier sighs. "I just-, I was terrified you were going to leave me there to drown."

Geralt keeps scrubbing, staying quiet, and focused suddenly. Jaskier thought he was going to let him die? He would never let his bard be hurt like that. But.. He's a liar. He hurt Jaskier, with his words, and no wonder Jaskier thinks Geralt would let him die after saying everything he did.

He's drawn from his thoughts when Jaskier hisses in pain, and pulls away from Geralts scrubbing. The witcher eyes flicker at the irritated, red, and almost bleeding skin.

"I was thinking, I didn't mean to. Come back here." He explains.

Jaskier shuffles back to Geralt. "you? Thinking? That's dangerous."

"I should have left you to drown." Geralt jokes, his tone slight, and less heavy.

Jaskier snorts. "yeah yeah, you would never."

Geralt finishes scrubbing at Jaskiers upper body and hands the bard the rag to do his lower.

"anyway, like I said, you're freezing too, Geralt. Ask one of the girls to draw you a bath after I'm done. If I get sick, its not a big deal." Jaskier mumbles, seemingly forgetting that the witcher doesn't get ill from human sicknesses of cold and miserable atmospheres.

"I will be fine. Let me tend to you before I look after myself."

Jaskier smiles, almost bitterly, at Geralt. "yennefer will be lucky to have you."

Geralt grunts, and refuses to speak. 

"you would look after her. Even though she could probably do it herself."

Geralt glares at Jaskier, "stop talking of her" He demands, his fists clenched at the rim of the bath.

"You would comb her hair in the bath, while she tells you who she murdered last" He jokes.

"Jaskier, I said stop talking of her!" Geralt yells. "I don't love her— I do— it's complicated, and you should just stop talking about her!" He demands again.

He watches as Jaskier freezes, tense and quiet. "sorry.." he mumbles.

"just finish up." Geralt gets up and leaves.

Jaskier sits in the warm water, staring at the door Geralt had just slammed on his way out. He leans deeper into the water, but keeps his head afloat. He had to go ahead and fuck up again, didnt he?

Jaskier throws the rag on the tiled floor, and gets out of the bath, he grabs a cloth and dries himself. He dresses, and combs his hair. He stares at the mirror for a long time.

What did yennefer have, that he didn't? Personality wise, he knew that Geralt wasn't one for someone's appearance nor gender, was it the power? She was powerful, and he just sung. Was that the problem? He wanted to be useful for Geralt, prove himself, and he wanted to be loved by him; even if it would cost him his life. 

He leaves the room, and goes back to the shared room between him and Geralt, not before asking for another bath to be drawn for his friend. As he walks into the shared room, he sees Geralt with his head in his hands; deep in thought. He hadn't even noticed Jaskier had entered the room. 

Jaskier frowns to himself, him and Geralt needed to talk. Now rather than later. He opens his mouth to speak when the girl who had run to do the bath comes in and tells them the other bath is ready. Geralt looks at Jaskier, and stands, following the girl to the bath. 

Jaskier followed behind Geralt, he closes the door to the room as the girl leaves them. The bard walks towards the salts and flowers left at the side, and he grabs a couple petals of lilies and lavender, throwing them into the bath as Geralt sat in it. He grabs some salt and throws it into the water as well. Geralt stares at Jaskier for a long time. 

"I can bathe myself." Geralt says, voice low, and heavy. 

"I know." Jaskier hums a tune, "but we need to talk. About what happened before. And what better time to do it while you're trapped with me bathing you." 

"I'm not trapped." Geralt says, almost defensive. He pauses, and sighs, shoulders relaxing. "but yes, we do need to talk." he grabs the tankard at the side of the bath, and takes a sip of the beer. 

"I don't expect you to apologise for it-"

"but I should." Geralt interuppts, staring into the water. He surprises Jaskier with his words.

The bard rounds the bath and begins to scrub at his friends hair. "you were angry."

"and I lashed out at you. It wasn't fair." a vein in Geralt's neck flexes. 

"like I said, you were angry. And you were hurting. Yennefer had left you. You were upset, and don't deny it." Jaskier frowns. "if I was you, I would have lashed out too."

"no, you would have sung about it." Geralt huffs. "I had no right to blame it all on you" 

"no, you didn't. But to be fair, I was at the beginning of all your problems. The djinn. The child surprise." Jaskier's voice gets more quiet. "I pushed myself into your life, and caused you problems." his voice cracks slightly, but he doesn't cry. 

"Jaskier." Geralt pauses, Jaskier finished with the witcher's long hair, pouring water over his head. "you did push yourself into my life-"

Jaskier's breath hitches, and he freezes; about to scrub at the dirt on Geralt. 

"but you have brightened my days since you waltzed up to me." Geralt admits, his tone having a slight edge to it. "you are annoying. But in the three weeks without you, Roach wasn't much of a talker. I remember before you came into my life, the limited human contact I had was getting job requests, and the people of towns stoning me. I, I admit, missed your constant, annoying, chatter."

"i missed you too." Jaskier nods to himself. "and what about what I said..? I loved you."

Geralt mentally notes the past tense in love. He finds himself frowning even more, and his glare into his own reflection hardens. 

"I already knew, you weren't exactly subtle." 

Jaskier's face flushes red, and he let's out a small wheeze. "okay, fair enough."

"i...i don't know if I love you back. I might. I may not. Love is complicated. I find everything is becoming complicated as the years grow." 

"alright, alright, old man." Jaskier smirks. "I.. Im fine, with you not loving me. I'm fine with staying friends. I cannot always get what I want. But.. Do you love yennefer?" 

"I.. Don't know, for once. I see myself with her, but not for very long, and not wedding her."

Jaskier finishes with scrubbing Geralt. He rounds the bath, and meets eyes with the witcher. 

"I loved you, I... I still might. But im hurt. And I'm bitter" Jaskier spills his feelings honestly. "every time I think about what happened, I think it's about time. I'm surprised you missed me. Most people think 'good riddance.'" 

"hmm." Geralt looks at Jaskier, and the heavy feeling in his heart, and in his stomach, returns. 

"I-"

Someone busts in, Geralt tilts his head at the man, mouth open and tongue drawing itself across the inner of his lips. Annoyed the man had interuppted them as they were finally sorting things out. 

"Mayor Heavirein." Geralt greets, getting out of the bath. The mayor yelps once seeing Geralts privates, and covers his eyes. 

"witcher! You haven't done anything yet besides get your bard nude and throw him in our well!" 

Geralt grabs a long loincloth and wraps it around his waist. "I needed to prepare to fight the creature."

"yes, well, hurry along, my people are getting impatient with your stay. Your kind aren't allowed here." 

"hey, be nice." Jaskier stops kneeling around the bath and steps forward towards the mayor. "your dirty work, he's doing. Your lucky he doesn't just leave and let your stock die. You're better off with them dying, you could lay off all the meat." He glares at the mayor, getting defensive with the second. 

"Jaskier. I don't need you to defend my honour." Geralt rolls his eyes. "I will deal with the creature tonight."

The mayor nods, and leaves. 

Geralt draws his hair out of his face, and ties it at the back, doing his usual hair do. The white wolf picks up his clothes, and leaves, sparing Jaskier the words to follow along. But Jaskier knows he wants him to come. So he follows his friend. 

Jaskier looks out of a window, and sees how the sun had begun to set, his eyes widened slightly. The day had just begun, had it not?

"Geralt? I think we need to get a movealong if you want to see that creature tonight." He says, entering their shared room.

Geralt hums, "Hmm", he begins to dress his armour and straps on his sheathed sword to his back.

"I want you to stay here" Geralt says as he lifts up his boots on the wood frame of the bed and ties it. He does the same to his other foot as well.

"what? Why? Let me come along. I could help." Jaskier clenches his fists.

"one touch from this thing, and you'll be dying." Geralt walks past Jaskier, and out of the room, flower in hand. 

"I'm coming along, and you cannot stop me!" he chases after the witcher, who was walking faster.

He watches Geralt untie roach from the barn behind the Inn, and climb onto her.

"Geralt, let me come, If something wrong happens, I could help, please allow me" Jaskier grits his teeth. "I'm not useless."

"you have already risked your life today, and I will not have you losing it."

Jaskier looked up at the witcher. "I'd rather lose my life than know you are fighting alone."

Geralt grunts, and stares forward for a minute, thinking. He sighs, and makes a gesture for Jaskier to come onto Roach. He puts a hand out for the bard, assisting him climb on.

Geralt grabs Roach's reins, and as he does, he feels Jaskier wraps his arms around him. They make their way to the mayor's livestock, and once arriving, Geralt hops off of Roach, helping Jaskier get off too, and ties her to a tree away from the farm. Jaskier pets her gently and gives her a couple oats from her saddle bag as Geralt begins to put the leaves around. He takes the flower and plants it in the middle of the livestock.

Half an hour passes, and nothing happens. Jaskier begins to become uneasy, and rambles more than ever. 

"so I told my mother I wanted to travel, sing my ballads and songs to all the people of the lands. My father thought I was being ridiculous, and I would be like him—"

Geralt wasn't listening, he was focused on the livestock. Suddenly, the air whispers with heavy winds, a growl from the woods and a petite woman in black walks towards the live stock, he notices her hesitant steps once she sees the santarn leaves. She's less peppered than when she arrived on the scene. Jaskier goes quiet, before suddenly tapping Geralt.

"look.." he points to the dead trail of grass and flowers behind her.

"witcher. I know you are here.." She speaks out, looking around.

Geralt steps out from behind the tree him and Jaskier were sitting behind. "you're the ma-mo"

"please, such an expired name. But of course some one with your age will be using it. Call me by my name, Henia"

"i could care about your name less."

"you want to fight?" Henia raises an eyebrow. "surely you know I kill every thing I touch."

Geralt grunts and draws his sword. He sees the ma-mo grin, evil and full of bloodlust.

He takes a couple of steps forwards to her, before lunging as she's about to cast some sort of spell, he slashes at her arm with his sword, and she winces in pain, but does not yell. Suddenly her grin widens even more, and Geralt feels weak. She had touched him while he attacked. But he did not collapse. He staggered back, but held his stance.

He _will_ fight this creature, and slay it. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos and hurt ensues. Yennefer makes an appearance, and Jaskier leaves Geralt fearing he is nothing but useless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Jaskier sings in this chapter is a couple verses from 'Epic iii' from the original cast of Hadestown, one of my favourite musicals.

As much as Geralt would like to say he was doing fine in this fight, he was absolutely losing. It had been a little over 20 minutes, and he had only landed a couple of hits, while his body was slowly failing due to the ma-mos touch.

He felt he wouldn't last any longer, and it seemed his bard had noticed, when suddenly he heard a familiar lute playing, and Jaskier steps out from behind the tree. What was he doing, the fool? Was he trying to serenade the ma-mo? 

".. but even the hardest of hearts, unhardened, suddenly, when he saw her there.." He sings, and the Ma-mo hisses, staring at the bard; the grip she on Geralt loosening.

The witcher staggers back, and kneels, catching his breath. He stares at Jaskier with worried eyes, and the bard nods to him, continuing to sing. The ma-mo slowly made her way to him, not attacking, and suddenly lowering all defenses. She seemed to love the music. Jaskier kept his feet firmly planted on the ground as she got so close, he could practically feel her breathing.

She was going to kiss him, Geralt realises. And he would die from her sinful and sweet kiss. Geralt grunts as he pushes himself to stand, picking up his sword, and rushes to the two. 

Piercing the sword right through the ma-mo, she gasps, and stares right at Jaskier. The bard stops singing, and finally steps back; grimacing as she collapses and disappates into black thick smoke.

"cover your mouth!" Yells Geralt, and Jaskier does so quickly.

The thick smoke encases Geralt, and he gasps, his already weakened state becoming so much more weak. The smoke disappears, just as Geralt collapses. Eyes heavy, and bones weak, everything goes dark for the witcher. 

Jaskier's eyes widen, and he rushes to his friends side. He kneels and moves Geralts head into his lap, he gently taps his friends face multiple times.

"Geralt? Geralt? This isn't funny. Wake up.." he shakes the Witcher, and he does not respond. "think, Jaskier, think!"

Suddenly Jaskier remembers to always check for a pulse, he puts his ear to Geralt chest, and spends at least a minute waiting to hear his heart. The bard remembers Geralt telling him his pulse was already slower than humans, but this felt like it was _too_ slow. He stands, and does his best to lift Geralt; ending up dragging him instead, to roach. He pushes Geralt heavy and limp body onto the horse, and then gets on himself. He grabs Roach's reins, and begins making his way to the nearest mage or doctor

* * *

Somewhere, far away from the witcher and his bard.

Long, slim fingers paused midway through pouring a lavender oil into a wooden bowl with all sorts of other ingredients. 

"Geralt.." Yennefer looks down at her bowl, chest feeling heavy, and concern suddenly filling her veins.

She hadn't seen her witcher since the mountain, and she had hoped she would never see him again. He had put a leash on her, with that wish of his, but that didn't mean she had lost all feelings and regard for the mutant. 

Hearing a woosh of gust and wind, Yennefer looks to her side, and sees she had subconsciously summoned a portal. She curses herself, she had let her choas slip through her tight hold. All because of a witcher. He had really made her feel vulnerable at best. 

Right now, she feared he was vulnerable. She steps through the portal, and finds herself in a town, crowded yet quiet. She notices how the people stare, but she does not care. She walks through, until feeling _his_ aura once more. It was faint, but not weak. She walks down the trail the aura is leading her, and sees Roach, tied to a post. She pets the horse, before walking into the building roach was tied to.

As she steps into the healers rooms, she immediately sees that bard, the one who was always perskering Geralt begging for the healer to do his best to heal said witcher.

"move." She instructs, pushing away the bard, and coming to Geralt's side. "this is magical. Nothing a normal healer can fix. I need garden oil, Chyrical flower petals, and a bit of water. It will slow down the disease spreading through his body, while I figure out how to stop it completely." She orders,doing a double take at the bard who was staring at her in surprise. "well? What your waiting for?!"

Jaskier rushes out of the room, running to go fetch the ingredients. Yen looks down at Geralt, and his unconscious form. She cups his cheek and shakes her head. "foolish." she mumbles. She keeps her eye on Geralt's heart beat while the bard is getting the ingredients, making sure that it won't slip and that her Geralt won't pass. 

Moments later, Jaskier returns with said ingredients. She grabs a wooden bowl, and puts all the ingredients in, breaking the Chyrical petals into smaller pieces. She lifts up Geralt's head, and pours the liquid into his mouth, helping him swallow it. 

He doesn't wake, but he groans, and Jaskier sighs in relief. 

"I'm going back to my place to fetch some things that will stop the infection completely." Yen says, standing. She tares her eyes away from the white wolf, and gives Jaskier a look. "keep an eye on him for once instead of annoying him.."

As another portal appears, Yennefer disappears through it. 

Jaskier frowns to himself, sitting beside Geralt, and taking his hand in his. He didn't let is eyes move from his friends slow rising chest.

Yennefer had returned, suddenly. And then Geralt would dismiss Jaskier again. Not that he was jealous.. But, he was. 

She comes in at the last minute like always, and saves him. While all Jaskier did was sing a song and stop the ma-mo mid battle, while his friend took all the damage.

He was useless. 

He brings Geralt's hand to his lips, and closes his eyes tight, letting hot tears drop onto his witchers hand. 

"I'm sorry." he mutters, letting Geralt's hand slip away from him. "I'm going to go. I provide no use for you.. All I do I vex you and get in your way, my dear." he admits. "if destiny let's us cross paths once more, I'm sure it will be nothing but a mistake."

Jaskier takes a deep breath. "after all, you belong with the purple eyed mage. The perfect couple, y'know." he jokes, for the most part. "I wish I didn't say I 'loved' you. I still love you so much, fuck, it almost hurts."

Jaskier grabs his lute and strums a small melody to accompany his singing.

"but the heart of a man is a simple one, small and soft, flesh and blood. And all that it loves.. Is a woman, a woman is all that it loves.."

He grits his teeth, finding he can no longer sing as he sobs. He stands, brushing Geralt hair out of his face softly, something he thinks the witcher would hate; how gentle he is with him. He shakes his head at the thought, and leans down, kissing Geralt's forehead gently. He turns, and takes his leave, strumming his lute to a sad tune as he walks.

When yennefer finally returns, she sees that the bard is gone, and she scoffs for a moment, she had told him to look after Geralt. She doesn't let her gaze stray far from the witcher as she fixes up the antidote to the plague she had felt inside Geralt. She has the doctor place a cold towel on Geralts forehead, and she feeds him the antidote slowly. It wouldn't ware in for another hour or so, or maybe it would take an entire day, but it would definitely work. Yennefer didn't make mistakes when it came to things as simple as this.

Her suspicion that it would take a day for Geralts system to react, was correct. Just as she began to doze off, Geralt sat up suddenly and vomited out his stomachs holdings. He groans, and leans back into the beds comfy pillow.

"hey, fool." She mutters. "destiny seems to have brought me back to you."

Geralt's pricing yellow eyes meet hers, and he closes them for a moment, and sighs. "I take you helped me?"

"oh I did more than help, I saved you." She rolls her eyes.

"where is Jaskier?" Geralt askes, tilting his head to look around. "and roach?"

"your horse is tied to the post outside, and your bard left."

Geralt closes his eyes again, grunting. "I need my payment from the mayor, and I need to keep moving."

"what you need is rest. You were an hour away from death, Geralt."

"i accept death with open arms, I don't fear a familiar presence."

"yes, yes," Yen rolls her eyes for the umpteenth time that day. "keep up the brooding and unfearing mask, I couldn't care less."

Geralt looks away from Yennefer. "I feel like I was toppled by a stampeed of angry bulls"

"whatever were you fighting to get you this roughed up anyways?"

"a ma-mo." Geralt grits his teeth slightly as he pushes himself up, and gets off the bed.

"they don't usually appear around here." She tilts her head.

"what I said. Guess there's the odd ones out." he grumbles. "did Jaskier say where he was going?"

"no. He left when I went to fetch more ingredients to heal you." She sighs. "why do you care about that bard so much?"

"he's a friend."

"you don't travel half the continent with a friend, jump to save him, let someone as annoying as him stay, because you're 'friends.'" she smirks. "I suspect there's more going on."

"shouldn't you be jealous?" Geralt grunts, sparing her a glance as he puts on his cloak.

"and shouldn't you be resting?" She retorts. "why would I be jealous?" 

Geralt doesn't answer, and instead stretches his stiff jaw, "I don't have time to rest." he stares at Yennefer for a moment. "do you want something in return for helping me? Payment, perhaps?"

Yennefer stands, and puts her hand on his chest slowly, maintaining eye contact. "what I want isn't money and, it isn't something anyone else could give me."

Geralt isn't stupid. He knows flirting when he sees it. "we aren't good for each other."

"you put a leash on me with your wish." She hisses out, "if anyones not good for anyone, it's you."

"I wanted to save you, as you did for Jaskier."

"do you love me?" Yennefer asks so suddenly, it almost catches Geralt off gaurd.

"Hm" Geralt replies, it's not a solid answer, and Yennefer squints at him.

"yes, or no, witcher. Just pick one. Do you see me in your life for the rest of your witchery-living days? Am I enough for you?"

Geralt grunts. "no. I don't. You are enough for me, you are too much for me, in fact." he admits begrudgingly. "I do not see myself wedding you, despite our past. But I do love you."

"and what about that bard? You love him, don't you?"

Geralt pauses, he looks away from Yennefer again once Jaskier is brought up for the second time. 

"I knew it" She laughs slightly. "he makes you feel vulnerable! You do love him."

"and you aren't upset about it?"

"no, good gods, no. I have had enough rejection in my life time to know that the people who don't want me are too weak to handle my power. My essance and lust for power is too strong."

"that's what will get you in trouble."

"oh please, with the leash you've put around me with that fucking djinn, it probably won't" she huffs.

"hold that grudge forever, and fail to see how I saved your life. Thats your flaw when I comes to our relationship."

"bye, Geralt." she puts her hands on her hips, and summons another portal, leaving.

Geralt closes his eyes, and shakes his head. He walks out of the doctors building and to roach, he gives her a small smile (roach being one of the few people who actually got to see him smile) and takes out a carrot from her saddle bag, feeding it to her while petting her.

He unties her reins, and gets on the saddle, making his way to the mayor. Once he makes it to the mayor's House, he knocks, and the fat man walks out.

"witcher! My stock survived the night! Thank you for your service, here's 150 silver as promised, and an extra 20 gold."

Geralt takes the money, and pockets it in his coin pouch. He turns to leave, not saying another word.

He thinks about Jaskier once more. Yen was right, he loves the bard. 

Cursing under his breath, Geralt starts riding out of the town, and to the path leading out. He believes jaskier has left to the town next over, or good gods, knowing the spontaneous bard, he could have gone any where. 

It had been an hour into his journey of going to the next town when he had already missed his bards constant chatter. While riding through a valley, Geralt notes how this place is a hot spot for bandits and thiefs to attack and rob people. He hopes Jaskier used his brain and got through here quickly.

He was wrong. At the near end of the valley, he saw a familiar lute, now broken, and he had smelt the blood before seeing it next to said lute.

Bandits had Jaskier, he concluded, as the blood trailed away from the valley into the deeps of the forest next to it, with multiple foot prints following the blood.

Gritting his teeth, Geralt knew he couldn't fight the bandits now. He was still in recovery, and if he went to go fight them, they'd most likely capture him as well. Then they'd in a very tough prediciment.

Geralt goes into the other side of the forest, and sets up camp. He would stay here while he rested before going to get Jaskier. 

He hopes only they will be merciful to bard. He knew Jaskiers big mouth could get him in trouble. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier is in a bloody, sticky situation. A creep is being a pervert and completely making Jaskier feel uncomfortable. Geralt arrives last minute before some potentially scarring shit happens.
> 
> And they kiss. But it doesn't have the outcome Geralt expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mild non-con warning for this chapter, no actual sexaul activity takes place, just extreme discomfort to touch. Also I just made up some characters so then I wouldn't constantly be calling the pervert 'the man', if that was the case, I'm sure you guys would have gotten confused.
> 
> READ EDITED TAGS.

Oh, good Lords, he ached. 

At least this would make an amazing ballad, if he got out of here alive. He was tied up to a post, in a small camp of around 15 - 20 bandits.

The blood in his teeth left nothing but a metallic sting, and the amount of blood he was losing from his wounded leg definitely wasn't helping his situation. He began to babble and chatter about anything, a nervous habit of his.

"y'know," he starts, and a couple of the bandits look at him. "this isn't the first time I've been in a situation like this, tied up, gotten my teeth kicked in. And I'm sure it won't be the last. Speaking of last, the last time I ate was a little of a day ago, so if one of you would be so kind to just fetch me some warm bread, treat your... Tied up guest so nicely—"

They kicked him again, boot to jaw, and Jaskier would be lying if he didn't say he cried out. He was pretty sure he felt a loose tooth in his mouth, and he didn't _actually_ want his teeth kicked in.

" quiet, Bard. We're deciding what to do with you"

Jaskier rolls his eyes. "you could always let me go?"

"and get your witcher friend to attack us? No thanks."

"Geralt of Rivia and I are no longer in association." Jaskier mumbles, glaring at the ground.

"did he get tired of fucking you?" One of the drunken bandits laugh.

"we did no such thing together!" he yells, flustered.

The man with the heavy boots that kept meeting his jaw, stepped forward and punched Jaskier Square in the face, and the bard was sure his nose was broken; feeling blood drip down.

"keep your voice down or next time I won't only be breaking your nose."

Jaskier sighs, and finds that a mistake as more blood from his nose finds its way into his mouth and teeth.

"now now, don't give our guest a hard time." A bandit full of muscle keeps eye contact with Jaskier, with a creepy smirk of sorts. "I don't see why we can't keep him."

"because he's an extra mouth to feed, and he's annoying."

If these bandits weren't violent, Jaskier was sure he'd annoy them to let him go.

"Your whore mother is an extra mouth to feed." Jaskier suddenly growls at him, and the bandits around him go quiet. 

And then they laugh, and say things such as,

"was that your attempt of trying to be scary?"

"he's like a puppy!" and, 

"what was that? A attempt at a growl?"

They continue to laugh, and drink. Jaskier pouts, and keeps his eyes downcast. The bandit that had suggested to keep Jaskier pats the bards head, heavy handed. 

"I am no child, you shan't pet my head and laugh at my insults." he snaps at the man.

"alright, whatever you say, buttercup." He laughs again, and Jaskier becomes even more flustered and humiliated. 

Good gods, how longer till they either killed him or someone came to help? 

He doesn't think he can last any longer. 

An hour passes, and the bandits left Jaskier to go make a verdict on what to do with him, he could barely hear them, but there were some words along the line of 'sell him,' 'keep him' and 'kill him.' 

He didn't want any of those. And if he had to choose, he'd have himself slaughtered. He would not let his dignity be stripped away from him as a slave or a pet to these people. 

He wanted Geralt. 

A wave of sadness hits like a hurricane on a small coastly village, and Jaskier finds himself holding back sobs, but he can't help but let them slip. 

He wishes he hadn't left Geralt. But he wanted what was best for the witcher, and he didn't want to be any further an inconvenience. But he missed him, and now he was going to die, or be a slave, or be kept by these people, and he would never see the yellow eyes of his love ever again. 

Tears fell down his cheeks, and mixed with some smeared blood. In total, Jaskier looked like a mess, and he was a mess. His eyes are shut tight when he feels a hand on his cheek wiping away his tears. He opens his eyes, hoping to see his Witcher, when he sees that man that had taken a liking to him. Jaskier looks away, and tilts his head away from the man's touch. 

"now, now. Don't cry. You aren't being killed nor sold. We're keeping you. Well, they told me I had responsibility over you mostly, since I wanted you the most."

Jaskier's stunned silent for once. _Wanted you the most?_

He was uncomfortable, and there was no hiding it. He felt this man's intentions were more than thinking he would be a great addition to a party, Jaskier didn't think this man was thinking of how he'd sing with a lute, but In a particularly different environment he wishes to only enter with either the witcher or brothel maids. 

"my name is Relian, and the guy who kicked in your face's name is Qyrill. He says if you make one mistake, he won't hesistate to kill you. So, why don't you just do as I say, aye, bard?" 

Jaskier slowly nods, and finds the man is untying him, but his grip on Jaskier's arm doesn't falter the slightest. It was bruising, and it hurt. 

"names Jaskier..... Relian, my good fellow." Jaskier starts. "let me go, please. I don't belong here."

"enough of that, this is your new home, bard, with me, and my friends. Now, I'm sure we have a lute around here somewhere that you can play.." he looks around, dragging Jaskier along with him. 

"as much as I'd love to play right now, can.. Can I please get my nose and leg looked after? And this blood cleaned..?" He hesitatantly askes, he never meets the bandits gaze, he feared what he would find in the man's eyes. 

"yes, of course. I can't say the blood isn't a good look on you though." he smirks.

The man takes Jaskier to the healer in the group, and the bard finds his nose bandaged his leg the same, and the blood cleaned. 

An hour passes, they ate, and Relian, was his name?, took Jaskier into his tent to rest. But Jaskier wouldn't sleep, he couldn't. Once he's sure the bandit is asleep, next to him, he closes his eyes, before opening them again. He takes out a note from his pocket. It was something Geralt had wrote to him one morning when he left while Jaskier had slept. 

'leaving, heading north towards Nourn, don't get a dagger in your back. - G' 

Jaskier smiled at the note, and sighes, tucking it back into his pocket he slowly gets up; trying his best to not awake the man next to him. 

And suddenly, he's running despite the painful limp in his leg. He's running anywhere, to get away. Surely they didn't think he'd stay without at least attempting to leave.

He was almost near the forest besides the camp,and then he could hide behind trees, or whatever! Jaskier was panicking and this was his best idea, or worst. 

Before he could set foot behind a tree, his arm is grabbed and he's jerked back, falling to the floor, with a vice grip around his neck. He gulps, and stares up at man who had earlier been beating him. 

"pl..please" He puts his hands on the man's hands, trying to tear them away from his neck. 

"I knew you'd do that, bard." the man mutters, before pulling Jaskier up from the ground by his hair, and letting the bard breath once more. "you're lucky I don't kill you right now."

Where the fuck was Geralt when he needed him?

He was being forced further into the bandit camp, and shoved back into the tent of the creep. Relian had awoken and he did not look happy, and Jaskier was sure he would be killed. 

Qyrill left, surprisingly not beating Jaskier, and Relian pulled Jaskier to him, wrapping his arms tightly around the bard.

"sleep. I will scold you in the morning." he said, voice heavy yet tired.

"I can't quite sleep right now. This reminds me of a situation I had when I tried to run away from home and my father had caught me at the gate of the village at midnight—" he begins to nervously chatter.

"or I could slit your throat right now and then you'd be quiet."

Jaskier shuts up. And decides to try to sleep, ignoring the big man behind him.

* * *

Morning came, and it seemed he was the last to awake. Relian hadn't left him, seemingly watching him in his sleep, like a pervert. Jaskier sits up, and yawns, seemingly forgetting where he was for a moment.

"Geralt..?" He mumbles sleepily, before meeting his eyes with the bandits.

"no. Just relian." he smirks. "its noon. You slept for quite a long time."

"I was..tired" Jaskier shuffles away from the man.

"you talk in your sleep. It cute."

Jaskier closes his eyes and frowns to himself. "don't call me cute" he opens his eyes. "what are your Intentions with me?"

"you're no idiot, I'm sure you've figured it out." he comes closer to Jaskier, and the bard freezes. "are brothel maids jealous whenever you walk into their brothels? You're a sight more than they ever will be."

"stop." Jaskier mutters, trying to shuffle back but finds himself pinned by a post. "I'm not intrested. Where is your honour?" he askes, as the man begins to untuck Jaskiers shirt.

"I'm a bandit, bard, I don't have honour"

Jaskier tries to kick the heavy man off, his hands pushing at the man's chest. 

"stop, please!" he yells, as the man pulls off Jaskiers shirt, and begins to remove his trousers. The man's heavy lips meet his, before pulling away. 

He closes his eyes tight, biting his lip and fighting back tears that threatened to spill. 

He suddenly heard fighting outside of the tent, and relian seemed to hear it too, suddenly ditching Jaskier to grab his sword and fight. The bard took in a grateful breath of air, and pulled his shirt back on, buttoning it up, and tucking it in. He adjusted his trousers once more, and - fuck he couldn't think. He was scrambling and crying more than he's ever cried. That was too close. That man was too close to doing..

Jaskier puts his head in his hands, and took in another shaky gasp. This was his chance to escape. He slowly left the tent, and began to run again, ignoring the fighting, and pain in his leg, and focusing on _just getting out of there._

He was almost away, when he heard a familiar voice yell his name. Geralt. He stops, and turns. There he saw his witcher, bodies on the floor, and bloodied.

Jaskier suddenly runs towards Geralt instead, practically pouncing on him.

"Geralt! You- you're okay. Yennefer helped you!"

"are you a fool?" Geralt ignores Jaskiers words. "leaving, and going through this valley when you know damn well its dangerous."

Jaskier raises an eyebrow and smirks. "were you worried?"

Geralt grunts, and rolls his eyes.

"did they hurt you?" the witcher askes.

"yeah- I got my face kicked in and my leg is pretty wounded, but I'm okay. I'm okay now that you're here. And just on time, this bandit was about to—" Jaskier stops talking, and looks away.

"we don't have to talk about it now. Let's go. Roach is waiting." Geralt tries, it seems that was his way of comforting his friend.

Jaskier needed to talk. He wanted to talk. But he felt uncomfortable in his own skin, and he wanted to scrub away that man's touch until his skin bled, but he couldn't risk Geralt knowing, he couldnt risk being more of an inconvenience to Geralt. 

They began to walk, and it takes Jaskier a small minute, but he chatters like nothing had even happened. He didn't want there to be silence, he knew Geralt could read the atmosphere better than anyone, so if he talked like nothing happened, maybe it would seem like nothing had actually happened.

"so then I said to the lute sales man if I could play better than him, I would get a new lute for free. He said—"

"Jaskier." Geralt interuppts, and the bard gets the sign to stop talking, he knew something was wrong, and he couldn't hide it by talking.

Jaskier sighs. "I.. Im sorry for leaving, Geralt." He mutters. "I just- I felt like I was useless to you. Yennefer was there to help, what could I do that could contribute? Nothing."

"Jaskier." Geralt unties Roach, and helps Jaskier onto her. "Yennefer and I aren't ever going to be together. You have no reason to be jealous."

"why would I be jealous?" He flushes red, and crosses his arms as Geralt gets onto roach behind him and grabs her reins. 

"because you love me." 

Jaskier goes quiet. "and.. Is that a problem?" 

Geralt didn't say anything, but he leaned his chest closer to Jaskiers back.

"can we go to an Inn, please? Or a stream? I could do with a good scrub." Jaskier changes the subject. 

"we're heading to the next town, we'll rest there." Geralt nods. 

"I'm surprised you're up and at it already. I thought you'd rest longer." Jaskier shrugs. "you were in a pretty bad shape." 

"yes, I know." he tilts his head slightly, continuing down the path to the next town over. 

At least an hour passes of Jaskiers chatter, no longer to fill the silence, but just because he missed Geralt. They made it to the town, and Jaskier practically falls off Roach in glee. They make it to an Inn, and roach is taken to a stable; where Geralt pays extra to get her bathed and fed generously. 

At the Inn, they get a room for two, and once taken to their room, Jaskier changes out of his clothes quicker than Geralt ever seen him change. 

"I want these burned." He throws his old clothes to the floor, and puts on a new pair (which he had kept with Roach in one of her larger saddle bags for safe keeping and it seemed to work out as his old clothes where stolen to be sold by the bandits.)

"why? They're not ripped nor old." Geralt picks up the dismissed bards clothes. 

"I don't think I'm going to be comfortable wearing them anymore." he mutters. "Im going to go ask for a bath to be drawn."

Geralt looks at clothes as Jaskier leaves. He rolls his eyes, and folds them. He thinks for a moment, while changing out of his armour. 

He thinks about what has happened in the last three days, and what happened two weeks ago. If they hadn't argued, Jaskier wouldn't be injured. But there were also good sides to it. Jaskier had confessed to him. And, they talked about their feelings more than ever, as much as Geralt didn't like to.

All the pros didn't dismiss the cons. Jaskier had begun to stray further from Geralt, and he hated it. He wanted the bard to stay like he used to, despite all of Geralt's grumpy, and brooding moods.

Now, their relations were complicated, and fragile. He was sure with time, everything would be better. But he was impatient.

He has to remember they both are going through a tough time right now. Jaskier is sensitive, and insecure, as much as he hides it. And Geralt.. He was frustrated with his own feelings. He had lived life times without feeling this. Love. Heart break. The loss of yennefer, despite the mutual agreement they weren't good for each other, had hurt. And it always will. But the feeling of starting anew with his bard, it was almost blissful.

He had to fix the broken bridge between them, starting with admitting his feelings. But with Jaskiers constant avoiding of prickly subjects such as this, it would be tough.

Speaking of Jaskier avoiding subjects, he had noticed the bard avoided talking about what the bandits did. He looked scared, and.. Ashamed?

Geralt's drawn out of his thoughts as Jaskier returns into the room, nude and dripping wet from the bath. He dried himself, and began to put on his new pair of clothes.

Geralt noticed how raw red his skin was, like he wouldn't stop scrubbing till he bled. 

"Jaskier. We need to talk."

Jaskier rushed a hand through his hair. "i feel like I've heard that way to many times now."

"i know." Geralt grunts, he sits on the bed. "sit."

Jaskier sits next to Geralt. "do you want to go get a drink—" 

"let me talk." Geralt meets his eyes. 

"oh, uh, right, okay, good." Jaskier nods. 

"yennefer and I talked." Geralt starts, "we talked about our relationship. And we no longer are going to be in sexaul relations. She helped me realise something."

"what?" Jaskier tilts his head. 

Geralt leans closer, grabbing Jaskier, and his lips meet Jaskiers. 

That was one way of admitting his love for his friend. 

He doesn't find Jaskier kissing back, just frozen. He pulls away. "well..?" 

"I uh.." Jaskier gulps. "I love you too, Geralt. I do. I just—i need a drink." 

"Jaskier?" He mutters as Jaskier stands, the bard pale. "what happened to you?"

"its- nothing. I just.. He barely touched me. I just- I didn't like it. I.." Jaskier looks at the floor. "I want to act like It didn't happen."

Geralt's eyebrows slowly furrow as he figures out what happened. Oh.

"I just- all he did was kiss me and remove my clothes. But his touch was just so dirty and I.."

"it's okay." Geralt assures. He has an idea. "do you want to go get a new lute?" that would surely cheer up the bard.

"really?" He looks at Geralt, smiling slightly. "you have to ask?"

Geralt rolls his eyes, and stands. "come along, then." He puts his sheated sword on his back, if he wasn't going to wear his armour, he could at least bring it.

Jaskier follows Geralt as they walk into the town.

"we need to get a good lute, my old lute; Beth, was made of birch wood with a oak lining, and the best strings." Jaskier grins, seemingly more chipper, of course it would be a lute that cheered him up. 

"You named it?" Geralt let's out a huffed chuckle. 

"a lute is an extention of one's self, and I felt the need to name mine." he shrugs. "oh! There!" he points to a lute sales stand.

Jaskier practically runs to the stand, examining every lute carefully. He picks one that had a silver lining, oak interior and sides, but the base is birch. The strings are questionable, but Jaskier says he could find someone to change them.

Geralt points to the lute Jaskier had picked, and looks at the sales woman. "how much?"

"250 silver, and 12 gold."

Jaskier frowns suddenly as Geralt takes out the required money.

"shit, Geralt, you can't. This one's too costly. I'll get another one." he insists. 

"Jaskier." He passes the 250 silver and 12 gold to the lass. "take this as my apology for what I said at the mountain."

Jaskier puts the Lute on his back and adjusts the strap, smiling at Geralt. 

"let's go get a drink, Bard." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of the story is approaching, and I want to know if you guys want a sequel or a new book entirely?
> 
> I have a couple ideas for a new book, and an idea for a sequel, so it's your guys choice!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end. They separate for purposes, but they've established their relationship and how they will meet again if they want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been a nice run, after thinking it over for a day or so, I think I'm going to make a short sequel, and perhaps a short au book. But the sequel comes first.

They drink, and they eat. Jaskier adjusts his new lute strings and performs for the patrons of the tavern. He sings a new song giving a fake meaning to the song when asked about it, but Geralt very well knows it's about him. 

The end of the night arrives, and it happened to be a couples night at the tavern, and Jaskier practically begs if they stay and he can play one of his romantic ballads for the people, and he hints at perhaps asking Geralt for a dance. 

Geralt says no to the dance, but they stay, because he wants to hear this 'romantic' song. 

It wasnt about him, Geralt is surprised. when he stops playing and goes back to sit next to his friend, He explains this was a song he wrote when he first left his hometown and his parents.

20 minutes into the couples dance, and Jaskier stands, putting his hand out to Geralt. "can I have this dance?" he askes, a stupid smile on his face that Geralt loves. 

"no" Geralt shakes his head. 

"come on, Geralt. Live a little!" Jaskier pulls Geralt up from his seat. 

The witcher could have stayed seated if he so wished so, but he wanted to humour Jaskier. 

"fine." he grunts, and he finds Jaskier putting the back of his lower arm against Geralts, feet crossing over each other smoothly. 

They walk around each other, eye contact held, and then Jaskier drags his arm up Geralts arm, to his shoulders as he places his hand there. Geralt finds his arm moving to the bards waist, in sync with the couples in the room. 

"I love you." Jaskier mutters as they get further into the dance sequence. "and personally, I find it surprising you've never showed off your dance skill before. I'm amazed I haven't messed up yet, once I was dancing with the wife of a lord and I completely stepped on her feet around 50 times-" 

"Jaskier. Shut up" Geralt rolls his eyes, fond.

They switch dance partners for a minute before each standing on a different end of the room as the music comes to a stop, and the women courtesy to their men, and the men bowing to their women. Jaskier and Geralt bow to each other. 

As the couples disperse in the tavern, Jaskier pounces onto Geralt, grinning like a mad man. 

"that was amazing!" he exclaims. "I might write a song on how the white wolf is so tender with his feet, how every move is synced with his bard."

"do that, and I will personally push you off a cliff." Geralt vows. 

Jaskier smirks. "you would never!" 

"are you really sure?" Geralt raises an eyebrow. 

The bard gasps dramatically , before laughing. He catches Geralts hand in his, pretending to not see the witcher mild surprise before they both leave the tavern and go back to the Inn. 

They settle in their room, and Jaskier practically forgets about what happened in the last 48 hours. 

"this is nice." Jaskier mutters, nodding to himself. 

"I wouldn't get too adjusted to it. We still have to go to a town to get a contract. Or find one here."

"well, I don't see why we can't just settle down? Maybe it's destiny. You a hunter, me a bard? This town is small and nice, I'm sure we can—" 

"no." Geralt interuppts him. "I'm a witcher. If your 'destiny' didn't want me to be one, I wouldn't be here today." 

"Geralt, don't get so defensive, you can't surely think you'll be a witcher for your entire life?"

"i will be a witcher till my dying breath." 

Jaskier frowns, he sighs. "if its destiny you're so worried about, you should be taking responsibility for your child surprise" 

Geralt grunts, and lays in the bed. Jaskier moves to lay next to him. 

"I will come with you to get the child." he mutters. 

"you've already been at risk enough as it is." 

"are you worried about me?" the bard smirks. 

Geralt is quiet for a moment, before pulling Jaskier closer to him in the bed, and he brings up the covers. 

"If I lost you, I'm not quite sure how I would react." Geralt mutters into the crook of Jaskiers neck. 

"I can say the same." Jaskier closes his eyes. "I don't want to be away from you, it would just be the equivalent of losing you to deaths greeting arms."

"Jaskier.. Im not supposed to feel. But when in with you, and when I was with yen, I feel more than anger or bloodlust." 

"ooo" Jaskier starts, smirking. "maybe a different kind of lust?" he jests. 

"I will punch you." 

"hm.. Sure." Jaskier chuckles. "anyways.. I'm sure feeling is new to you, and you're confused.. But everything from plants to monsters feel, so it's normal."

"but I'm a witcher. A mutant. A abnormality of nature. I'm not normal. Legend says I shouldn't feel" 

"well, legend shmegend." Jaskier shrugs. "tales and myths are often not true." 

Geralt is quiet once more, Jaskier almost thinks he's asleep, dozing off himself when he feels Geralt hold him tighter. 

It comes no surprise the next morning when they're tangled in each others limbs, but still as close as ever. Geralt is the first to awake, and get dressed into his armour. 20 minutes later, and Jaskier wakes too. 

"ugh.. What's the time?" he mumbles. 

"6 am." Geralt answers. "get up." 

"hmm..i'll think about it."

"it would take you a thousand years to aquire the skill to think, Jaskier. Get up" 

He hears a gasp from the sleepy bard, and beforw he hears the bed creak and moan as jaskier gets off it, and begins to change and comb his hair. 

"I personally think I'm one of the brightest minds of the century."

"I'll tell the actual geniuses that." Geralt smirks as Jaskier finishes getting ready. 

"yeah yeah, can we grab breakfast? Preferably an apple, or a small stew." Jaskier suggests. 

"apples I can do. Roach has some in her saddle bag."

"where are we headed now?" Jaskier asks as they walk. 

Geralt frowns. "im going to head towards Cintra. I've heard rumours of Nilfgaard planning to attack and I want to go see if it's true, or not, and either way, take my child surprise. You aren't coming along. It could be dangerous." 

"Geralt, despite the danger, I will join. Even if it could lead to my death, I'd like to be there to watch your back. And, I don't think the child would like your company quite as much as a bards. You aren't no fun, and they may be put off."

"kids think I'm cool" Geralt defends. 

"boys, and if what this child is a girl? I doubt she's going to faun over your sword nor armour."

"she may be interested in fighting,like her grandmother, despite her royal status." 

"still. You need someone to help you look after the child." 

"Jaskier, that's enough. If all goes well, and Nilfgaard isn't attacking, I will find you with the child eventually." 

The bard goes quiet, and nods. "alright! You better find me before I take responsibility and go on an adventure of my own to find you."

The witcher grunts, and they make it to the stables, and see Roach. Geralt pets her, newly clean coat and mane. He takes out two apples from her saddle bags, and handes one to Jaskier. 

" if I want to make it to Cintra before Nilfgaard are rumoured to attacked, I should leave as soon as possible."

Jaskier take a bite out of the apple, and gulps it down, almost choking. 

"can we have a moment together first?" Jaskier pauses, "just us? For a bare 10 minutes. I can't help but already miss you."

Geralt nods, and they sit on two stools that where next to roach.

"what is our relationship?" Jaskier mutters, staring at the bitten apple. 

Geralt sighs. "I don't know."

"do you want to court me?" the bard tilts his head, taking another bite of his apple. 

"I plan for our relationship to last a long time.. But I don't know if things will go as smooth as expected." 

"ah, right.. I want to wed you." he says bluntly. 

Geralt raises his eyebrows in surprise for a minute. Of course Jaskier had wedding Geralt in mind this early into a relationship, he's _Jaskier_. He had wanted to marry Lady de stael before she broke things off. He rushed things. 

"how about we take things slowly, first, Jaskier?" Geralt finishes his apple, and gives the core to Roach. 

"ah- yes, of course! I just meant..eventually, I would like to see a sleek silver ring on your finger." Jaskier shrugs. 

Geralt nods, and as he rises to grab something from Roachs saddle bag, Jaskier grabs his arm, and takes something out of his pocket. 

An amulet. 

Silver. Gold lining. 

He recognises what it is. A communication amulet.

"where did you get this?" Geralt askes, taking the Amulet gently. 

"there was a mage in the tavern yesterday, I asked if they had anything to keep people in contact no matter location. I thought it was romantic. Knowing we'll always have a way to talk if apart. If I had known we were really going to be apart from each other, I would have gotten one much better" Jaskier rambles. 

Geralt finds himself staring in awe at the flustered fool. 

He barely got gifts, most things he got from humans were coins. Or a stone to the face. 

He loved this gift. 

"Thank you, Jaskier." He says, firmly. 

"i.. Yeah. You just say your name into it and it will start recording what you say into the crystal" He nods to himself. "and I will hear it through my crystal. Just, don't use it too much or else it might break or something, I don't know" 

Geralt puts the amulet around his neck, and tucks it in his armour. 

"I believe we must part now, bard."

Jaskier stands as well, and suddenly hugs Geralt. The witcher pats his back, and they separate. 

"I'll see you around, white wolf. Have a well journey."

Geralt mounts Roach, he looks at Jaskier. 

"bye, My bard." Geralt smirks at Jaskier. "don't get a dagger in your back."

They part. And as Jaskier watches Geralt leave, he's gripping tight into the amulet, and doesn't notice the letter Geralt had left in his pocket while they had hugged.

An hour at most passes when Jaskier is at a tavern and about to pay for a drink when he sees the letter.

'Jaskier,

Saying how I feel is much more complicated, so I've decided to write it. I love you, and I'm fond of you. I'm fond of how your constantly annoying me, and how you make me feel like I'm never alone. I can't imagine travelling without you, but I have to take my responsibilities, and I don't want you to be harmed following me. I know you're going to insist you come along, but when I push for you to not, just know its because I care about you and you're wellbeing. Every moment since the mountains, I regret our arguement. I regret how hurt I made you feel.

I'm not sure what our relationship is, and I'm not quite sure I ever will. But I care about you, and I think that's all that really matters. Look after yourself, I'd hate for you to die without me around.

G-'

Jaskier smiles down at the letter, and tucks it away. He takes a sip of his beer, and has an idea for a new song. Inspired by Geralt, as always. 

He loves him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: THERE'S A SEQUEL! go check it out if you want a continuation!


End file.
